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Beautiful Me

Beautiful Me….

Why are those words so hard to say? Why is it that the person who deserves our love the most, ourselves, get the short end of the stick? Why can’t we take a step back and see what those that love us see? Are we so blind that we can’t see the good that is inside of us?

photo credit: cheriejoyful via photopin cc

photo credit: cheriejoyful via photopin cc

I think those are all relevant questions to the everyday life of a woman. Every day we stumble out of bed, into the bathroom. We walk blindly by our mirrors, taking our customary morning pee break. Come on, don’t look so surprised! We all do it! We head back in the general direction of either the mirror, or the bed. Catching our image out the corner of the eye, sometimes we turn with a look of disgust. Sometimes we can’t look ourselves in the eye. Sometimes a smile will tug at the corner of our mouths, almost reaching our eyes. Then it diminishes, remembering who it is we are looking at. Sadly, sometimes there are harsher thoughts that go through our mind as we stand there scrutinizing ourselves in the mirror.

photo credit: Paulo Brandão via photopin cc

photo credit: Paulo Brandão via photopin cc

So this I am writing to you. To the weary mom, with her tiger striped belly. To the struggling teenager, trying to find her confidence and self in every day life. To the woman, any woman… every woman. This is for you. To maybe help change those looks of contempt, disgust, and loathing… to looks of love, pride and joy. It won’t happen overnight, I can attest to that, but if we are constantly making steps each day to love ‘ME’ it will just get easier each day.

You’re beautiful. You have to know this. You have to learn this. You. Are. Beautiful. Inside and out. Top to bottom. Every inch of you. You are beautiful. I know, I know… easier said then done. Trust me, of all people… I know this. I have walked the long road of self doubt, hatred and loathing. Sometimes getting to the point of feeling that it just wasn’t worth it anymore.

photo credit: Rakesh JV via photopin cc

photo credit: Rakesh JV via photopin cc

Let me stop there. It is always worth it. YOU are always worth it. NEVER think you aren’t. If by chance you are at that place in your life, pause… take a step back. Breath. Whether you are breathing through tears or pain, just breath. You have to understand that the world wouldn’t be the same without you. You have to make your mark. You can’t just give up, before you get your chance to. I almost did. Twice. Those were some of the darkest times in my life. They were some of the rockiest and most precarious times for me, as a young woman and as a wife. I made the choice to try. I decided that it was worth the fight and struggle. I am so thankful I did. If you’re there…. if you find yourself feeling utterly alone. Feeling like you just can’t go on, please… don’t give up. Find something, someone to cling to. Find help. You’re worth it. We all want you too. We all need you too. More often then not, we’ve been where you’re at. We’ve all been there. Help is ok. Help is there for a reason. Use every last beautiful shred of strength you have left, to reach out.

The hurt does ease, the pain does diminish. With time, all things are possible. I am living proof of that. I am proof that someone can struggle tremendously, physically and emotionally, and finally come to the realization that I am beautiful. Really. I am beautiful. All 5′ 9″, 260lbs of me. Every curve, every stretch mark, every scar. Everything. Did I get here overnight? Hell no. Was it easy? Noooo. Did I do it? Yes. I did. 34 years later, and I can look myself in the mirror with a smile and tell myself that I am beautiful. There is nothing more empowering then the ability to do that. You give yourself the power to forgive… you. You give yourself the power to love…. you. And there is NO ONE in this world more important than you.

Ok, I already hear people…. *rolling eyes* …..people saying how self-centered that statement is. That you are NOT the most important thing. Listen, I can argue with you all day long. It is a matter of opinion. What you have to understand is that, as women, wives, mothers, teachers, nurses, whoever you are… we can’t love… we can’t give love… until we love ourselves. Sure we can try, but how much you can love others is limited by how much you love yourself. Again, my opinion, but that is something I have learned from experience. To be able to love wholly. To love without limits. In order to do that, we HAVE to love ourselves. You ARE the most important thing in your life, and you have to take care of you. You MUST take care of you.

photo credit: Pavel P. via photopin cc

photo credit: Pavel P. via photopin cc

To the weary mom, you are beautiful. You earned your tiger stripes, whether a few or a lot! Every aching, exhausted part of you is beautiful. You are the example for your daughter(s), you are the heart of your family. Yes, you do thankless jobs, but you’re doing it fabulously. You are the epitome of strength and courage. You face each day, cleaning up multiple messes, drying tears, kissing boo boos, doling out hugs, feeding multiple “starving” mouths. You do it all. Stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom, working mom. You are all beautiful. You don’t deserve anything less than to feel beautiful. You don’t deserve anything less than looking at yourself in the mirror and smiling. You don’t deserve anything less then the joy that comes from loving yourself. Remember, you’re not alone. We’re all in the trenches, fighting each day, fighting ourselves, fighting the world. Imagine if, for one day, you gave yourself permission to love you. To accept all your flaws, to accept all the wonderful things that make you… YOU. Imagine how wonderful that might feel. Why not try? Why not, for one day, give yourself permission to love you. Grant yourself the moment… the joy…. of loving you. You ARE beautiful. All of you. I see it. I hope you can see it too.

photo credit: greekadman via photopin cc

photo credit: greekadman via photopin cc

To the tween/teenage girl…. this will be one of the hardest things you will ever do, but please… try. Listen. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Did you hear me? Listen…. carefully. You. Are. Beautiful. Did you catch that? No magazine, no tv show, no actress, no model has got anything on you. There is only one you. You are unique, exquisite, passionate, funny, loving… just to name a few. Sure you may feel chaotic at times. Yes, your emotions feel all over the place, but one of the most wonderful things you can do for that is loving you. Everything may feel amplified for you. Everything may feel, crazy. I am most certainly not saying being a teenager is easy, or drama free, but imagine how much easier your struggles would be if you had an ally. What if that ally was you? Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Having to simply reach inside yourself to find the strength and courage to face each day. To look yourself in the mirror each morning while you’re getting ready for class and KNOW that you are amazing. You are. You are beautiful and amazing. You have strength in you that you don’t even know that you possess. Why not give yourself the ok to use that strength? What an amazing gift that would be! To stand there, smiling at yourself… knowing you are wonderful, that you have a purpose, that you have a mark to leave on this world. Good, because you are and you do. You are what this world will become. You are the next generation. We need more young women like you. So please, be proud… be strong… be beautiful. Because simply……. that is what you are.

Listen, we all struggle. Did you hear that? We ALL struggle. We are not alone. Each of us with something different, but we’re all together. We trudge through our days carrying different burdens, different things we want to change, different things that drag us down. What you need to know is that in those moments when you feel like sitting down to cry, when you just can’t take it anymore… sure you can cry, a good cry can feel wonderful, but after that…  you hold your head high and look yourself in the eye. You challenge yourself to love you, to look deep inside you. Maybe you have to look into a place you’ve never looked before. Maybe, just maybe, you have a strength within that you didn’t know was there.

photo credit: bass_nroll via photopin cc

photo credit: bass_nroll via photopin cc

I wish that each of us could see what others see in us…. the people who have fallen in love with us. I wish for one day, we could look through their eyes and see what they see. I know that I have struggled for years to see what my husband sees. I am now coming to see just that. They love us regardless of what we look like, how we act, what we wear… they love US. They love us. Simply. Purely. They could care less if we have cellulite, if we forgot to pluck our eyebrows yesterday, if we have one to many rolls here or there, if we’re “too tall” or “too short”…. they love us from the inside out. We are beautiful to them, and really… shouldn’t it be just that simple. To be beautiful. To love you. To have the power to give the gift of love…. simply because you have given yourself that gift first. Imagine the freedom. The joy.

To each of you…. you ARE beautiful. You are strong. You are the epitome of a woman. Give yourself the pleasure of feeling that. Feeling what you possess inside. Feeling the joy that comes from loving you. I see it. I see it in each of you. The beauty shining through… through your exhausted body, your changing image, your lonely soul…. wherever you are at. I see it, I wish…. I hope… that you can see it to. That you have the strength, and courage, to see your beauty. To look yourself in the mirror next time and smile. To begin to see the glimmer of the wonderful soul that is you. Because loving you…. is the single most important thing you will ever do. Ever.

So from one Beautiful Me to another…… I am sending you a hug. I am sending you love. I am sending you the message that you’re not alone. That we’re all in this together, and that you CAN love you, if only you give yourself permission…..

…..because that is what makes you a Beautiful Me.

beautiful-me

Pictures my husband took of me…. my Beautiful Me…

Comments

  1. nessa February 16, 2014

    Very well and beautifully written. We so often walk through this world thinking we are the only ones who are going through the pain or anguish or problems that we are going through. Giving up is easy. It is living that is hard, but it is through these struggles in life that we finally get it figured out and can finally atart to love ourselves for who we are and what we do. I know I talk often about not being able to have kids and how inadequate that has made me feel. Like I am lessnof a woman somehow. And then I look at the 7 little furry lives and the others I have helped to save and find homes for over the years. That makes the pain of not being able to have children so much easier to bear. I often wonder if I had kids right now would I be able to even think about running 3 hours to central fl to get a dog outnof a kill shelter. Or would I have been afraid to let the pregnant cat into my home to have her babies and nurse them safely. Would I be able to run out after reading something about a lost or hurt animal to go do whatever I can to save them? To be honest I think I love myself a little more despite my disadvantages with how I have replaced that emptiness. Then past few years that I have been down on myself, I just remind myselfnof that and I love myself a little more.

  2. Jess February 17, 2014

    Wow! Not sure where to start. This is beautiful and amazing. Not just the (brilliant) writing, but of course the message, and even more than that the inspiration of you.

    It is so difficult to find love for ourselves. I feel like I am great at loving others, forgiving their foibles, treating them with compassion, but struggle mightily to give myself the same things. I’m getting there. It’s a process.

    Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing this with us. It found me on a day that has been very difficult, in a month of incredibly difficult days. Life is tough for me right now, and although I am doing my best to be graceful and grateful, sometimes the day wins. But reading this is giving me a tremendous boost and the will to fight back just a little bit. Maybe today I will win. And I’ll take that.

    You are amazing. And by your definition, so am I. Thank you.

  3. AKA Wife July 30, 2014

    I’m so sorry it took me so long to get back to you. My comments weren’t working, but I have beaten them into submission! I absolutely love what you wrote, and there is so much truth to it. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reasons, and I can’t tell you how many lives of both people and animals you have helped with what you do. I know that it doesn’t take the sting out of wanting your own children, but you are a blessing to this world with what you do. We wouldn’t want you any other way! You are beautiful from the inside out! <3 So on those days when you struggle, just think about everyone you have helped, the hope you have given to the animals you have cared for and rescued. *hugs* from me to you!

  4. AKA Wife July 30, 2014

    Jess, I am SO sorry that it has taken me so long to answer. My comments weren’t working and then I got very sick(will be writing about what in the world has been going on here soon!). Thank you so much though! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your kind words.

    I am so glad you found this on a day when you needed it. That is why I have written all of these, especially my Beautiful Me series. I just want to make sure that each woman that might stumble across this post, and my others, will understand how wonderful they are. Each of us is worth what the fight. We’re worth finding out Beautiful Me, of living our lives as fully as we can.

    I hope you won that day, and many days afterwards! I have been cheering you on and hoping you were doing great!

    You are amazing…. never forget it <3 You are more welcome the you will ever know.....

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